The secrets of body language: why you should never cross your arms again

Happiness Experiment No 1: Smile more teaches you that smiling more leads to more happiness rather than happiness leading to more smiling. This fascinating article by Leo Widrich looks at how important body language is in general when it comes to altering your mood.  He mentions the great TED talk by Amy Cuddy on body language which is also one of my favourites.  Enjoy Amy Cuddy’s TED talk and Leo Widrich’s article and get ready to start the day in a power pose! You know you want to.

TED talk by Amy Cuddy

 

 

 

Written by 

 

 

improve my body language science
Body language is older and more innate for us as humans than even language or facial expressions. That’s why people born blind can perform the same body language expressions as people who can see. They come pre-programmed with our brains. 

 

I’ve always been incredibly fascinated with body language and how it helps us achieve our goals in life better. The power of body language is probably best described by Amy Cuddy’s famous quote:

“Our nonverbals govern how other people think and feel about us.”

If you are anything like me, then you’ve had a healthy obsession with body language for some time. In recent years, a few fascinating studies at Harvard, Princeton and other top universities shed new light on body language and how to use it at work. So whilst the power of language is extremely important to convey the right message. The power of body language however, might be the determining factor of how someone makes us feel.

Here is an insight of the latest studies and how we can use body language to our advantage in every day life.

 

Your body expresses emotion better than your face

We all grow up learning about how to deal with each other based on facial expressions. And yet, that might not at all be the best way to judge other people’s emotions.

Researchers from Princeton performed a very simple experiment. They asked study participants to judge from photography whether that person is feeling joy, loss, victory or pain. Now some photographs showed facial expressions only, some showed body language and some both.

Have a go yourself at the following picture and try to say whether the tennis player’s faces on the right enjoy victory or loss:

improve my body language science tips

And the results couldn’t be any more startling:

“In four separate experiments, participants more accurately guessed the pictured emotion based on body language — alone or combined with facial expressions — than on facial context alone.”

Especially extremely positive and extremely negative emotions are very hard to distinguish from each other, explains head researcher Todorov.

Now, it gets even more interesting. Body language isn’t just something we have to learn. Most emotional expressions come built into our system. For example, scientists from British Columbiaobserved congenitally blind people at the Paralympics.

In this example, the left athlete can see, whereas the right athlete is congenitally blind. Yet, after winning, both express the same body language for victory:

improve my body language science

So, if body language is both so ancient and ingrained and also so powerful to express our true emotions, how can we use it better in our every day lives to achieve what we want?

Amy Cuddy from Harvard has answers for us:

Body language changes who you are – literally

In one of my favorite Ted Talks, Amy Cuddy explains some of the most peculiar happenings of body language. Cuddy focuses a lot on the business world and how body language is helpful for us here and the possibilities seem to have no boundaries.

Cuddy distinguishes between 2 different types of body postures. One are powerful poses, and their counter part are powerless ones. Here is an example of a powerful pose:

improve my body language science

 

And here is an example of a powerless one:

improve my body language science

Now Cuddy’s research reveals a bunch of extremely interesting things. The first is that expressing more powerful poses helps us get better jobs, makes us feel better and makes us overall more successful.

And yet, it goes a lot further than to just change the positing of your legs or arms. Cuddy explains that inside our bodies, actual changes are happening as our body language changes. These changes largely have to do with hormones.

The two hormones in question are:

  • Testosterone: The “power” hormone, which amongst lots of other things helps us to be a better leader, have more focus and attention.
  • Cortisol: The “stress” hormone, which amongst lost of other things makes us less re-active to stress, makes us feel overwhelmed and powerless.

Here is what Cuddy’s experiment contained:

They brought people into a room. For two minutes, they would either perform a powerful pose or a powerless pose. Then they would go on into performing a job interview. The results were absolutely stunning:

Neutral recruiters, who didn’t know who performed which pose, consistently picked only those that previously performed the powerful poses as people they would want to hire.

On top of that, the actual hormone levels of people changed dramatically. Here is the increase in testosterone and drop in cortisol after performing the power-pose (for just 2 minutes!):

improve my body language science testosterone

And here are the hormone levels after performing the powerless-pose, with a significant drop in testosterone and increase in cortisol:

improve my body language science cortisol

According to Cuddy, here findings show that changing our body language doesn’t just change our outcomes. It changes who we are as people. So instead of “faking until you make it”, her advice is:

Fake it until you become it.

Can you fake it until you make it? Yes, here are 5 postures to work on today to answer the question “How can I improve my body language”:

“How can I improve my body language?” – Here are 5 postures to work on

1.) Focus on the position of your feet

Carol Kinsey Goman has researched the importance of body language in the workplace for many years. One of her best tips is to watch your feet. A lot of the time, we focus on our upper body or faces, yet our feet reveal more about our emotions than we might think:

“When you approach 2 people talking, you will be acknowledged in one of two ways. If the feet of your two colleagues stay in place and they twist only their upper torsos in your direction, they don’t really want you to join the conversation. But if their feet open to include you then you know that you are truly invited to participate.”

In another example from her book Goman explains when to know that “conversations are over”:

Whenever you are speaking with a co-worker who seems to be paying attention, and whose upper body is angled toward you, but whose legs and feet have turned toward the door – realize that the conversation is over. Her feet are telling you she wants to leave. Foot positions are revealing even if someone’s legs are crossed.

I’ve started to experiment this at the Buffer office too. Whenever I speak with someone I make sure to give them my full attention – head til toe. So far, it’s been a great experience.

2.) Smile – it’ll make you happier

We smile because we are happy. But does it work the other way around too? Researchers at Cardiff University think soPeople who smile, without actually feeling happy, can make themselves feel a lot happier, says Michael Lewis, a co-author of the study:

“It would appear that the way we feel emotions isn’t just restricted to our brain—there are parts of our bodies that help and reinforce the feelings we’re having,”

Of course, being able to smile well is a whole other story. For now, give it a try to smile in the restroom or in another quiet place before a difficult conversation, job interview or meeting. It might just make you more successful.

3.) Practice Amy Cuddy’s “power poses” before important meetings

Amy Cuddy suggests 3 distinct power poses to practice for 2-3 minutes before you have an important conversation.

Try them next time in a quiet place and see if they have the same results for you:

Power-posture 1:

improve my body language science power poses

Power-posture 2:

improve my body language science power poses

 

Power-posture 3:

improve my body language science - power poses

 

4.) Realign your body more congenially with your conversation partner

Another great tip from Goman mentions that if you try to align yourself more congenially with a conversation partner you will be able to solve tension in conversations and come to solutions more quickly:

“If you physically align yourself with that person (sitting or standing shoulder to shoulder facing the same direction), you will defuse the situation. “

I’ve found this especially true with meeting people you’ve never met before. It’s hard to build rapport at the start, focusing on aligning can make a big difference. Give it a try.

5.) Lower your voice with deep breathing

Although not a specific tip for body posture, this is one of my favorite tips. Men and women with deeper voices are more likely to land in leadership positions and are generally perceived as a greater authority.

To lower your voice, especially before an interview, try to take some deep belly breaths. It will relax your throat area, which generally contracts and raises the pitch of your voice.

 

What other body language insights have you come across? I’d love your insights on this fascinating topic!

Original article published by Leo Widrich, founder of Buffer, on 18th April 2013

Posted by Shona Lockhart, 26th April 2012

 

Three cheerful reasons to visit Todmorden

1000 places to see before you die, Taj Mahal

1000 places to see before you die

Isn’t it funny how you can go through life blissfully unaware of certain places until suddenly a name keeps popping up again and again and you move from a state of complete oblivion to gradual awareness of that place’s charms and then to a sudden overwhelming compulsion to visit that particular destination as soon as you can?  Just six months ago Todmorden would not have been on my list of 1000 places to see before you die, not that I’m planning to die any time soon. Todmorden is not exactly up there with the Grand Canyon, the Taj Mahal, the Great Wall of China or other places which are considered by many to be one of the 7 Wonders of the World. So what has fuelled my sudden desire to visit Todmorden?

Todmorden – a Yorkshire Town

The first reason is a personal one – it’s in Yorkshire and my husband who is from Yorkshire tells me Yorkshire’s hard to beat. The other two reasons stem from my interest in positive psychology as Todmorden has many valuable lessons it can teach us about happiness and the importance of trying out happiness experiments.

Todmorden first crossed my radar earlier this year when I watched the Derren Brown programme on Channel 4 about The Secret of Luck.  Derren Brown had chosen Todmorden as the town in which he aimed to try out a social experiment.  He wanted to see if by planting a rumour about a Lucky Dog statue it was possible to change the lives and fortunes of local residents.

Derren Brown and Professor Richard Wiseman

Derren looked at what makes some people lucky and other people attract only misfortune.  The theories which Derren Brown was testing out in his Todmorden happiness experiment were based on the book The Luck Factor by Professor Richard Wiseman.  In addition to writing The Luck Factor, Richard Wiseman, who holds a professorship in the Public Understanding of Psychology at the University of Hertfordshire, has written many books on a range of topics including luck, self-help, illusion and persuasion such as Quirkology, 59 Seconds, Rip it Up and Did you spot the Guerrilla?

 

Richard Wiseman also happens to be a professional magician who frequently performs at the Edinburgh Festival . You can watch one of his magic trick videos below:

The colour changing card trick

As luck would have it, I happened to be reading the book The Luck Factor at the time the Channel 4 programme was being aired as it was on the recommended reading list of the 10 week course in Positive Psychology which I had just completed at City University in London.  The book teaches us how 4 simple principles can transform your luck and you can read more about these in this article.  It is these principles which Derren Brown investigated in his Todmorden experiment and I would urge you to watch his very entertaining and educational programme The Secret of Luck featuring the now famous Luck Dog statue by local artist David Wynne.

The third pressing reason I have for wanting to visit Todmorden is that I recently came across the wonderful community group called Incredible Edible at the Meaning conference in Brighton.  Pamela Warhurst CBE,  was a really inspiring speaker at this conference and received a standing ovation for her wonderful story of how the action of taking small steps to start a  seed swapping project to get the local community growing its own food on unused land just four years ago has now created a community wide organisation. The Incredible Edible initiative, of which Pam is now chair, has become an inspiration for urban regeneration and education projects around the world.  Todmorden has created a toolkit you can download if you would like to make your own town incredible.  The positive spin offs from this small local intiative have been huge and have not only put Todmorden firmly on the map in this country and abroad for its local food growing intitiatives but have also helped to regenerate many local businesses which are now thriving since this campaign started.

The launch of Incredible Edible in France

Watch Pam Warhurst’s inspiring TED talk and have a rethink about the places you want to see before you die.  Everyone needs to create their own personal list but I hope you will agree with me that Todmorden deserves to move up several places in your list.  Enjoy Derren Brown’s Channel 4 programme and Pam’s wonderful TED talk and hopefully you will be inspired to try some happiness experiments Todmorden style.

Pamela Warhurst: how we can eat our landscapes

 

Posted by Shona Lockhart, 16th October 2012

Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

Brené Brown talking about her new book Daring Greatly.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”  US President Teddy Roosevelt

This quote, taken from a speech by  US President Teddy Roosevelt, is the inspiration behind the title of Brené Brown’s new book Daring Greatly.  I was fortunate to be at the UK launch of her latest book on Monday night at Conway Hall in London which took place at an event organised by the School of Life.

The sell-out event took the form of a conversation between Brené Brown and Roman Krznaric, a founding faculty member of the School of Life.  Roman had prepared many questions to put to Brené but as she is such a wonderful story teller, conversation flowed very easily and Roman ran out of time to ask all the questions he had prepared.  One of the endearing features of listening to Brené talk is the fact that she is very willing to share her own vulnerabilty and to share stories from her own personal life and experiences.  She openly admitted at the beginning of the conversation that as a Texan she was nervous about talking to a crowd of British people famous for their stiff upper lip, but as the conversation unfolded her genuine charm, sense of humour and honesty disarmed the audience and culminated in a standing ovation from the crowd at the end of the evening.

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So who is Brené Brown and what is so special about her?  Here is the bio from her own website:

Brené Brown, Ph.D., LMSW is a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past decade studying vulnerability, courage, worthiness, and shame.

Brené is a nationally renowned speaker and has won numerous teaching awards, including the College’s Outstanding Faculty Award. Her groundbreaking work has been featured on PBSNPRCNN, and has appeared in The Washington Post,Psychology Today, and many other national media outlets.

Her 2010 TEDxHouston talk on the power of vulnerability is one of most watched talks on TED.com, with approximately 5 million views. She gave the closing talk, Listening to Shame,  at the 2012 TED Conference in Long Beach.

Brené is the author of the forthcoming book Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (Sept. 2012). She is also the author of The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), and I Thought It Was Just Me (2007).

In 2007, Brené developed Connections, a psychoeducational shame resilience curriculum that is being facilitated across the nation by mental health and addiction professionals. The Connections Certification process was launched in 2012.

Brené lives in Houston with her husband, Steve, and their two children.

This bio gives you the basic facts but does not convey how well Brené connects with an audience (even a British one) and leaves everyone feeling inspired and uplifited.  Her natural warmth and honesty shine through and as her conversation is backed up by over a decade of serious research in her field she is definitely someone worth listening to. The topics of shame, worthiness and vulnerability are not easy ones and many would prefer to sweep such concepts under the carpet.  By giving voice to these topics and to previously unspoken experiences through her own unique blend of humour, research and storytelling, Brené demonstrates the importance of recognising feelings of shame and unworthiness and of accepting that we are not alone in having these feelings from time to time.  Equally, she argues, it is by being willing to show our vulnerabilty that we are able to experience life to the full rather than building a wall to avoid feelings of discomfort.

Product Details

Brené has subtitled her new book Daring Greatly, How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. She explains in her book why expressing our vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but of courage and may be one of the most daring acts we can make.

Brené Brown talking at TEDx Houston 201O: The Power of Vulnerability

Here are some quotes from Daring Greatly:

“Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.” 

“When we spend our lives waiting until we’re perfect or bulletproof before we walk into the arena, we ultimately sacrifice relationships and opportunities that may not be recoverable, we squander our precious time, and we turn our backs on our gifts, those unique contributions that only we can make,” says Brown. “Perfect and bulletproof are seductive, but they don’t exist in the human experience.”

“Worrying about scarcity is our culture’s version of post-traumatic stress. It happens when you’ve been through too much, and rather than coming together to heal (which requires vulnerability), we’re angry and scared and at each other’s throats.”

“I define vulnerability as uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. With that definition in mind, let’s think about love. Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow — that’s vulnerability.”

“We judge people in areas where we’re vulnerable to shame, especially picking folks who are doing worse than we’re doing. If I feel good about my parenting, I have no interest in judging other people’s choices. If I feel good about my body, I don’t go around making fun of other people’s weight or appearance. We’re hard on each other because we’re using each other as a launching pad out of our own perceived deficiency.”

“Raising children who are hopeful and who have the courage to be vulnerable means stepping back and letting them experience disappointment, deal with conflict, learn how to assert themselves, and have the opportunity to fail. If we’re always following our children into the arena, hushing the critics, and assuring their victory, they’ll never learn that they have the ability to dare greatly on their own.”

 

Brené Brown talking at TED: Listening to Shame

Brené Brown’s new book Daring Greatly is now available to purchase. You can download her Manifestos for Parenting and Leadership and also her reading guide to accompany the book.

Posted by Shona Lockhart, 5th October 2012

 

 

Happiness Experiment no 10: Before I die I want to…………….

This TED talk by Candy Chang is a great lesson in how to live life to the full.  In response to her grief at the death of a friend, and after reflecting on death and how to come to terms with her loss Candy decided to set up a large blackboard wall in her New Orleans neighbourhood with the sentence: Before I die I want to………………

The response to her wall was phenomenal and other cities followed suit. You can see how Candy’s important message has spread by checking out her website Before I Die.

Take a few minutes to watch her video and I hope you will feel inspired to think about all the things you want to do before you die.  You may even feel inspired to set up your own  Before I Die wall in your community here are some resources to get you started or it may just cause you to reflect on what really matters to you.  Happiness experiment no 10 is therefore to make a list of all the things you want to do before you die and to start doing them today.  Have fun doing all the fun things you want to do and let me know how you get on.

Posted by Shona Lockhart, 6th September 2012

 

How to edit your life: Less stuff = more happiness

It’s the weekend, which for most of us is the time of the week when we have more leisure time on our hands and (if we are lucky) money in our pockets and many of us celebrate this fact by hitting the shops and buying more STUFF.

Writer and designer Graham Hill questions whether this is a route to happiness and in this TED talk he asks: Can having less stuff, in less room, lead to more happiness?

He makes the case for taking up less space, and lays out three rules for editing your life. He has set up a website called LifeEdited which explores this idea further.  So before you hit the shops this weekend take a few minutes to watch his fascinating video and explore his website and decide for yourself whether you think he has a valid argument.

Money can’t buy happiness or can it?

We have all heard the advice from religion, self help books and conventional wisdom that money can’t buy happiness yet much of our time is spent pursuing success, money and the status these bring in the vain hope that they will in fact buy us the happiness we desire.  Do you you believe that money can or can’t buy you happiness? Michael Norton argues in this TED talk that if you think that money can’t buy happiness you are wrong, money can buy happiness if you learn how to spend it correctly. Intrigued? Watch this video to find out more.

 

Posted by Shona Lockhart, 9th June 2012